I'm not sure how military families survive deployment. I'm not even exaggerating. How are the families of soldiers supposed to sleep at night while their loved ones are risking life and limb for American imperialism off in a desert somewhere? Political opinions on the war aside how do other men and women do this? I just want to say that I have a deep and newfound respect for military families. Our dearest friend, truest brother, and partner in adventure is going to Iraq in just 3 weeks. He will be providing security for convoys moving through Iraq. Will Michael and I even sleep again until next year? I just took 2 benadryl-- I'm hoping they get me through the night.
Is this something that I'm supposed to hide for the remaining 11 months of his deployment? Are we supposed to pretend like everything is fine and we're happy? We support our brother and are proud of the man that he has become and how strong he truly is. Would I fail to support him if I don't keep my feelings all bottled up and to myself? I don't plan on telling him over and over how concerned I am, he knows, hes not stupid. But beyond that do I just shut up, clam up and somehow try to sleep at night and raise three children without having an outlet for the most consuming grief I've experienced in a long time? I really have no idea.
This matter is always on my heart and will be until he is home. I want to see every single man and woman in Iraq and Afghanistan come home safely and quickly.
I just feel like I have a heart full of acid and ammo casing and I'm not sure what to do with it...